Types of break ups

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Am I the only one who has that one friend who each and every year comes with different New Year’s resolution except for the “Mmh.. I’m not getting back with him this year!” which she happens to say each and every year with no slight action towards that, Well you are not the only one. For a second my friend‘s resolution somehow made me sum up Eight different types of break ups.

The Cry Babies

This type tend to be too emotional such that if you were third wheeling the couple at that particular moment you would swear that the weeping is of  Wi-Fi existence pronounced extinct. They both and cry hug as they finally decides on their separation.

The eviction notice

This is when one partner decides to make it all clear to his significant other in most cases the partner gives a peremptory order to be fulfilled and if not; she does not hesitate in leaving her partner.  Sometimes those orders seems a little bit scary to men

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like asking your boyfriend to marry you within a year, demanding shopping not less than 5000 Dollars a month some can go as far as demanding him to change his religion.

The Extinction

Have you ever met someone then the next minute you wish you never met him? Well in this break up this is what happens but in a total advanced edition which includes one partner blocking the other on all social networks, deleting his number,  automatically gets brain washed such that the ex’s existence seem to be unknown to her.

 

The Dr Oz

listening-communication-startup-businessman-colleague_1262-1232Both partners sit down as grownups and decide to quit all the Acids and Junks that are a threat to their health, which in this case it is the relationship. The interesting part about this is that both partners come to an agreement so there is no guilt and blame pushed to the other no space for depression and trying to deal with a broken heart.

 

                                                                                                            The Spirit of Home

man-smearing-a-woman-s-nose-with-an-ice-cream_1153-1055This break up partners claims to be separated, each one moves on with his/ her life and forgets about the other not because of cheating or fights but just a decision of a start of something new but  on the other hand their sockets are still linked. A wise man once said “home is where the heart is” they may be separated but when the feel the need of sexual healing they run back to each other.

The Intermittently

This one is so annoying. You receive a call from a friend pleading for help since she fought with her boyfriend and currently packing to move out.  Being the best friend you are, you decide to ditch all your stuffs and rush to rescue your bestie only to find her in “Bae” s T-Shirt and get hit with “Oww!! Sorry you didn’t get my text? Bratt and I are fine now”

The Competition

 

This is just the worse break up you could ever think of. The whole cycle of the relationship one partner compares the other to his/ her ex to a level that the partner feels choked by the entire comparing situation then opt out of the relationship.

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The “some Space”

Honestly this one really confuses me. I don’t know why most of the time  when a guy opt for a break in the relationship we; ladies react like a cat trying to be baptized and begin to dig old graves of the 19th century like 7:58:06 pm, at Mc Donald’s Table 5, blonde girl, 5’4, average body size, big boobs,is it her? When only the poor guy innocently needs some space because he probably have a lot going on in his life maybe his dog died or he lost a bet on his favorite video game against his friends.

 

 

 

 

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13 thoughts on “Types of break ups

  1. Nice summarisation. You’ve clearly given this a lot of thought. You dud miss one out though. The RIP, where she shanks him forty-six times with a kitchen knife and buries him in the back garden 😂

    Like

  2. Very true list there. In a way, break ups are sad but there’s humour here. Thanks for sharing it. How did you even come up with such an interesting listicle.

    Like

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